Weekend Recap

My FIFA 09 humiliation aside; enjoyable weekend of football.

Living in the United States without satellite television leaves me unable to watch many football matches, yet I'd like to provide weekend recaps for those games which I was able to watch.

Chelsea FC vs. Burnely FC (English Premier) via ESPN2

Chelsea 3 -- 0 Burnley

The match looked like Rocky vs. Mr. T (Clubber Lang) in Rocky III. Burnley, fresh of impressive victories over Manchester United on 8/19 and Everton on 8/23, looked like the under-dog who gets brutally beaten in the beginning of the movie--maybe they'll rebound and reappear at least before the closing credits.

Chelsea looked phenomenal.

With the ongoing feud between strikers Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast) and Nicolas Anelka (France) and the transfer-season turmoil, the two strikers performed wonderfully together throughout the match. I'm looking for Chelsea to top the Premier League this year, especially with a "post-Michael Jordan 1993 Chicago Bull-esque" Manchester United this year.

Chelsea Goals: Nicolas Anelka (45), Michael Ballack (47), Ashley Cole (52)

Real Madrid C.F. vs Real Club Deportivo de la Coruna (Spanish La Liga) via GoalTV

Real Madrid 3 -- 2 Deportivo la Coruna

La Liga is going to be a joke this year. Real Madrid is simply stacked. With this year's signings of Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester Unted/Portugal), Karim Benzema (Olympique Lyonnais/France) Xabi Alonso (Liverpool F.C./Spain), and Kaka (A.C. Milan/Brazil), Real simply has more individual talent on the pitch than any team they'll face this season.

While Real did concede one goal leads on two occasions during the match, their offensive potency will consistently prove to outperform their opponents.

Real Madrid Goals: Raul (26'), Cristiano Ronaldo (PK 35')

Lassana Diarra (60)'

Deportivo la Coruna Goals: Riki (30'), Juan Carlos Valeron (46')

**PREDICTION: 2010 UEFA Champions League Champions REAL MADRID C.F.**

Manchester City F.C. vs. Crystal Palace F.C. (Carling Cup) via ESPN360

Manchester City 2 -- 0 Crystal Palace

While I'd say that Manchester City will surprise both fans and skeptics this season, they're success doesn't exactly come out of nowhere. With a current attacking line of Carlos Tevez (Argentina), Emmanuel Adebayor (Togo), and Robinho (Brazil), they're sure to excite City fans. Crystal Palace seemed surprise that Manchester City started their superstar trio, but Crystal Palace lost the match once they permitted City to continue to push the tempo.

Manchester City Goals: Shaun Wright-Philips (50'), Carlos Tevez (71')

F.C. Bayern Munchen vs. VFL Wolfsburg (Bundesliga) via ESPN360

Bayern Munchen 3 -- 0 VFL Wolfsburg

Fortunately for Bayern, drunken fans (see post) weren't left disappointed. Bayern dominated from kickoff to finish, controlling 61% possession. With transfer rumors surrounding star playmaker Frank Ribery nearly deceased, the traditionally regarded Bundesliga giant should rebound from the start of their disastrous campaign.

With their recent victory, Bayern is now 8th in the Bundesliga Tables, up from a historically worse 14th.

Bayern Munchen Goals: Mario Gomez (27'), Arjen Robben (68', 80')

Manchester United F.C. vs. Arsenal F.C. (English Premier) via ESPN Gamecast

Manchester United 2 -- 1 Arsenal

I've always thought of arsenal as that really nice,

shy guy in high school who everybody pulls for and hopes that they get the sexy

cheerleader, but, in the end, they always fall short to the rich, athletic d-bag

who wears two polos, ripped jeans, and has a dirty goatee. Arsenal are the feel good story we all expect from in the Disney PG-13 sports flick, while Manchester United are the bank-robbers you cheer for in the Rated R movie. Manchester United epitomize the arrogance of English football; wearing about a sense of entitlement and omniscient self-efficacy not dissimilar to MLB's New York Yankees, NFL's Dallas Cowboys, and the NCAA's The Ohio State University, Notre Dame, and University of Southern California.

Manchester United Goals: Wayne Rooney (PK 59')

Arsenal Goals: Andrei Arshavin (40') Abou Diaby (Own Goal 64')

On the side. . .swing over to Let's Go Get It for a great post of straight muzz-crack.

Photo(s): Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid, Manchester City, Frank Ribery, Sir Alex Ferguson, Arsenal

Humiliation

Libations or not, my guys Mikey D. and JJ both worked me in my own game, FIFA 2009, on separate occasions. With my representation of -- fellow Barvarians and beer-loving blue-eyes -- Bayern Munchen and their same selection of my -- pre-transfer of Zlatan Ibrahimovic to FC Barcelona -- Italian league favorite Internazionale, I was expecting instant victory. Yet, in each match, I, at first, was faced with vigorous and surprisingly competitive match back and forth exchanges. However, I was twice brutally beaten in the end like the 13-year-old Screech Powers that I was.

Fortunately, I was able to lament with friends from Latrobe Brewery, as well as search for comfort in my knowledge that I perform better in sobriety. . .

Photo(s): FIFA , Rolling Rock

Do they realize how drunk Bundesliga Fans Get???

Look out for particularly drunk Germans on Saturday as Bayern Munchen host reigning Bundesliga champions VFL Wolfsburg; Bayern Munchen is giving away more than 7,000 liters of beer of before the match.

LEDERHOSEN + FOOTBALL + BAVARIAN BEER + FRANCK RIBERY'S SCAR = BALLET FOR THE MASSES & DRUNKEN HOOLIGANISM

Its reported

to be part of a promotion with a Munich-based brewery--which involved the Bayern players and coach dressing up in traditional Bavarian costume for a photo shoot earlier in the week (Photo Here), but the specifics haven't been disclosed yet.

As a Bayern fan, I know I could use a libation or two (Bayern is currently 14th in the tables, 0-1-2).

Read on: ESPN Soccernet, Sports.Scotsman.com

Photo(s): Franck Ribery, Bayern Munchen